people often see the happy and cheerful side of me
but no i am no like that
people often see me as self centred
but do you know what is going on in my head?
no u don
been facing many problems this two months its been like a roller coaster ride for me
firstly being the only person retaining in our clique
and acting like its alright because u dont want people to worry about u
secondly not being able to be an orientation group leader
once again the only one that was not selected in my clique
acting like its okay once again
thirdly having friendship problems
best friend and i are drifting apart
because i don like her boyfriend
even if i am okay with them now
words said can never be taken back
its not only me that thinks she deserves better
everyone thinks so too
they ask me why is she with him
she deserves so much better
what can i say?
its not up to me they happy can already
but i cant tell that to her she will hate me even more
fourthly my best friend and my other school friends have been really close
we used to be really close
but now they never ask me out
talked to one of them
cried like mad
say that we put those bad things in the past
well here i am forever alone and available but u guys just wont ask me out
cos secretly i am a spoilspot
someone that always gets in the way
forever and extra
i get it guys u dont have to rub it in my face
i have eyes to see
but u guys wont get it
cos i never did that to u all
i wont ask u to ask me out or wat ever
cos i get in the way and hurt u guys
ruin plans and wat not
fifth got stalked the other day worst experience
told my best friend her reaction was like normal oh
and people stopped replying my texts
thanks guys
i just feel like i am the only on that is putting in effort trying to save our friendship
which i ruined
so i deserve it
but being the friend of someone who always have friends caring for her
liking her
smart
fun
and when i look at myself i feel like nothing
lower than anything else
crying but no one is going to see the tears
cos i dont show people my weak side
being the one that is always there for u but you will never confide me
at the same time i have no one to confide to
except writing this post
which nobody would read
cos no one cares
